TWO LIFE-CHANGING SPEECHES - ONE CONTINUING CHALLENGE

"Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Nobel Prize acceptance speech, Stockholm, Sweden, December 11, 1964.

Since my birth in 1937 I have lived through some amazing changes:

From radio to TV; from wall mounted party-line phones to skype; from prop and jet planes to rocket ships to the moon; from World War II to conflicts in the Middle East; from the golden, peaceful fifties to Vietnam, hippies and the turbulent sixties; from censorship to the seeming complete lack thereof; from growing up near all-white Lynden to teaching in a predominantly black inner city Seattle school; from overt racial bias to the civil rights movement; and, finally, to the ongoing struggle for peace and equality in every aspect of American life.

Older age allows time for looking back and pondering on where we have been, where we are going, and what life is all about. Granted the thinking is subjective based on one's experiences, but there might be a few nuggets worth sharing.

On this eve of Martin Luther King's birthday I find myself reflecting on his life and the continuing lessons of his words and deeds, the cornerstone of which was our civil rights and striving for change through peaceful and non-violent means. Our country has come far since his "I have a dream" speech which touched my heart, particularly the following excerpt:

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers . . ."

Tonight that part of your dream was a reality at a girls' basketball tournament in Ferndale, Washington, Dr. King. My 6th grade granddaughter's good friend and fellow teammate is a little black girl. They hang out at school, enjoy sleepovers with friends, and have a friendship uncomplicated by the strife of the past.

Another part of his speech said this:

"Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force."

But that part of the dream is not yet realized. There is still strife and divisiveness in the land. We have watched hatred and bitterness escalate and become part of our daily lives, unfolding in the media, in government offices, and in gathering places all across the land. Many of us stand helplessly by as hostility grows and harsh words are tossed back and forth.

It culminated last week in Tucson, Arizona, where an apparently unbalanced gunman murdered or maimed nineteen people, including a 9-year old child. The nation was stunned as we went into blame mode, searching for why and how.

Could the answer come by listening to another powerful voice calling anew for civility in our lives? Perhaps there is hope. In a speech at the memorial for the fallen, President Barack Obama tried to help us deal with the tragedy by searching for answers we can use in the future. Avoiding finger pointing and blame he said the following:

"... at a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized - at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who think differently than we do - it's important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds."

In referring to those who died or were injured, he went on to say to we need to work together "to widen the circle of our concern so that we bequeath the American dream to future generations."

Perhaps the most poignant part for me was his reference to 9-year old Christina Taylor Green who was there to meet Congresswoman Gibbons.

"Imagine: here was a young girl who was just becoming aware of our democracy; just beginning to understand the obligations of citizenship; just starting to glimpse the fact that someday she too might play a part in shaping her nation's future. She had been elected to her student council; she saw public service as something exciting, something hopeful. She was off to meet her congresswoman, someone she was sure was good and important and might be a role model. She saw all this through the eyes of a child, undimmed by the cynicism or vitriol that we adults all too often just take for granted. . . I want us to live up to her expectations. I want our democracy to be as good as she imagined it. All of us - we should do everything we can to make sure this country lives up to our children's expectations."

Yes, Dr. King is on my mind tonight, and so is President Obama - two intelligent, dynamic African-American men trying to help us see a way to bring out the best in our country. How thankful I am to have lived in their lifetimes, to hear them speak, to be inspired by them to be my better self. Can we all put aside our political differences and answer the call for civility in our discourse with one another? I hope so. In the words of Mary Worley Montaqu, "Civility costs nothing and buys everything."

THE ROAD TO CIVILITY - A MATTER OF WILL

“Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.”

Two weeks ago, on December 26, I suggested a New Year's resolution for 2011 entitled "Removing the Rocks in the Road," talking figuratively about the obstacles in our daily lives. Now our country has encountered a major rock in our national road.

Yesterday America was shocked into new awareness when a young man, allegedly having emotional problems, opened fire on a political gathering killing or injuring nearly 20 people. The victims ranged from a U.S. Representative and Federal Judge to ordinary citizens including a 9-year old child. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was reaching out to her constituency outside a Tucson grocery store when the young shooter fired repeatedly into the crowd. He was brought to the ground by people nearby, but not before many lives were lost or changed forever.

How can this happen, we say? Who would perform such an unspeakable act of violence? Was it politically motivated? Who can be blamed? As we think about all that has taken place, what do we do now? Better gun control? More security? Somehow the pundits are finding guests in both political parties to begin the endless speculation and questioning. The fact is, an event has hit close to "political" home, raising a fear factor, and giving new life to old arguments.

An interview with a Facebook marketing person today said that a million people had responded to the news. The responders were split on gun control, but not on the loss of a child's life. Will it be a 24 hour news blitz of shock and awe, or will some good actually come out of this catastrophe?

I watch the news, chat with friends and relatives, listen and read different points of view, and one thing becomes clear. We do NOT listen to each other with appreciative ears or with the understanding that everyone has a right to their own viewpoint, unless that viewpoint is colored by mental illness and deviancy.

It is o.k. to be passionate about one's position, but it is NOT o.k. to attempt to overcome another's beliefs by violence, abuse or simply talking louder. To believe one's own viewpoint is the only right one is arrogant, misguided, irresponsible and ignorant.

Sometimes it feels like we, in America, fall largely into three camps, A, B, and C. I know of someone in Camp A who is hardworking, passionately conservative and wants everyone around him to be the same. I have participated in several discussions where he attempts to force others into his way of thinking, using what to him are truths, references to what our forefathers fought for, and a strong belief in our constitution and inalienable rights. He seems unable to see opposing viewpoints as having validity. He is so busy trying to change the minds of others that he fails to listen and read the body language of those he wishes to convert. If he did he would realize they tuned him out long ago.

Others, in Camp B, are equally passionate about what the government should be doing to help others, no matter what the cost. They vote in social programs to do good works and to save the environment. They believe enacting legislation to control or guide others to their way of thinking is best for all concerned. They believe they know what is right for the country, the environment, and the public at large. Somewhere in Camp B are also people who see nothing wrong with living off the hard work of others by accepting help from the enacted programs when in fact they could be contributing. Camp B people drive Camp A people crazy.

I think the large majority of us are in Camp C, where we believe in the constitution, want to help others, care about the environment, and see the importance of contributing to education, social well being, and the infrastructure. Camp C people get equally frustrated with Camps A and B, and wonder why we can't all just get along. The fact is, Camp A and B people forget what America is all about - freedom to have one's own opinion, and that the majority rules. Strident monologue and putdowns are becoming a favorite way of communicating. They also need to realize that the world is evolving minute by minute, especially in this age of technology.

Our forefathers were intellectuals, wrestling with how to establish the government of a new young country based on the desired freedoms and social problems of the time. They had many of the same moral and ethical issues we face now. But, in fact, the country is not the same today, no matter how much we wish the same solutions could apply. It has evolved in ways the forefathers could not have imagined: From horses to cars. From trails to freeways. From small farms and small towns, to major cities and agricultural centers. From a few people getting a few years of education, to mandatory education for every child. From hundreds of newcomers from a few countries to hundreds of thousands of newcomers from dozens of countries, all wanting their piece of what we now call the American Dream. One Seattle area community college now boasts a student population speaking 61 different languages. Unheard of in our foregathers' time. In those days they dealt with English, French, Spanish, and whatever Native American languages were spoken.

As we have evolved, the Constitution has also had to evolve in order to solve new problems not encountered before - gender and racial equality as an example. The makeup of the population has not been the only change. Modern weaponry, health care, education for the masses, and more, have changed the face of America. What would the forefathers have done if confronted with assault rifles and other sophisticated guns.

Perhaps the biggest change is the way we communicate and the burden that the mass media places on how we think and what we decide to do.

Here is some of my "food for thought" if we want to continue as a nation:

1. We have the right to our opinions and to voice them. We have the responsibility to listen to other viewpoints respectfully.

2. We have the right to be treated with respect. We have the responsibility to treat others the same.

3. We have the right to share opposing viewpoints. We have the responsibility to respond to those with whom we disagree with civility.

4. We have the right to our own positions. We have the responsibility to not be so enamored of those positions that they cannot be altered.

5. We have the right to listen to whatever news programs delight us. We have the responsibility not be be incited to bully-like, destructive behavior if we don't like what we hear.

6. We have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have the responsibility not to take that right away from others.

If we are government leaders or media spokespeople, following the rights and responsibilities listed above are absolutely critical to our country's survival, in my opinion.

Finally, how can we use this rock in the road to improve our condition? Are we willing to let go of our personal positions and really start listening to each other? Can we treat each other with civility and good will, even if our desired outcomes are not the ones chosen? Can we learn to value our differences and learn from each other, becoming better human beings as a result? If not, then we are doomed to spiral downwards into experiences like the one yesterday.

Representative Gifford's husband is an astronaut. Her brother-in-law is also an astronaut presently orbiting high above us. I hear that our planet looks pretty amazing from far away - its beauty hiding the ugly behavior of we humans who inhabit it. It is my hope that we can learn from the events of yesterday to move this ugly rock from our road, and decide that we will be a kinder, more civil, more compassionate and understanding America. We can do this. It's a matter of will.

WHAT MAKES A HIGHLY QUALIFIED TEACHER ANYWAY? HIGH TEST SCORES?

"People who know nothing about education and whose ideas have no basis in research or practice are calling the shots. Left to their own devices, they will destroy public education. They have already demoralized our nation's teachers. Eventually, their bad ideas will fail, because they are wrong." by Diane Ravitch

I saw the post below today, and it made me mad. I have to respond.

"December 31, 2010 Posted At: 01:51 PM Author: Alexander Russo Category: NCLB News , On The Hill
Congress: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" About Highly Qualified Teachers

One thing Congress didn't get done during its lame duck session was to end the long-running practice of not telling low-income parents that their children aren't getting highly qualified teachers -- this despite an October court decision denouncing the practice."

My response: I am a retired teacher (2006), but still keep abreast of what is going on in some Seattle elementary schools by substituting when I can. I struggle with articles like the one shown above because I know what it was like to teach in an inner city low-income elementary school; what kinds of teachers were in that school; and what was being accomplished against great odds. My experience told me that the vast majority of teachers were well trained, intelligent, caring, creative and hardworking. On the other hand, it also told me that many students were on free or reduced lunches, in single parent homes with stress and crisis constant companions, and challenging daily lives most of us cannot even imagine. Acting out in class and on the playground was often inevitable. Obviously, no matter how skilled the teacher, the learning environment was compromised.

The PTA was one step away from non-existent - the same small handful of parents in attendance, carrying the load of whatever plans were being attempted. I clearly remember an after-school carnival that was only possible if the teachers each took on a booth or activity. Few parents volunteered in the school or classroom. Reasons ranged from difficult work schedules, to younger children at home, or no transportation. There were even a few parents who had an actual fear or dislike of the school itself because of their own prior negative experiences as children.

Curriculum Nights and Open Houses were poorly attended. I doubt that most people realize how much work goes into the planning and implementing of such events, and their importance to the child's school experience. I always took time to assemble packets of important information, homework ideas, how a typical day might look, classroom procedures, word and math fact lists, ideas parents could use for balking students, and more. Examples of school and art work would be on the walls, welcome mats proudly designed by the children would be on cleaned and organized desks, and a schedule would allow parents to attend more than one classroom if necessary. Although reminder notes would be sent home from the office, they were often left fluttering in the wind, or littering the ground. In order to get any kind of reasonable attendance I would call every family having a working number and send multiple notes myself. It usually followed that those parents who came to Curriculum Night had higher achieving children than those who didn't bother.

Principals make a big difference in every school, but particularly in those with low achievement. During my last years I felt lucky to have an understanding, skilled building leader who understood the needs of his staff as well as those of the kids. But his job was not easy as he struggled to meet the needs of teachers, students, parents and community with too little money in his budget. Deciding how dollars would be spent was a yearly trial. As the dollars shrank, tough decisions had to be made. Vital positions such as librarians, nurses, classroom aides, computer teachers, and office assistants were diminished or eliminated, with the rest of us taking up the slack. The pressure of raising the test scores was a constant concern and I am sure he took the brunt "downtown" as we called the administration offices. Rarely were we, in the classroom, visited by folks from Administration, who undoubtedly were also dealing with public pressure. However, in hindsight, I wonder if they were thinking that if our school only had teachers and a principal like those in "Excellent School A" or "Outstanding School B" the children would be learning, and the resulting scores would be higher.

I called a former colleague to find out her views on this serious problem. Let's call it the "good teacher-bad teacher syndrome." I learned that she is as incensed as I am about the general public's misunderstanding and ignorance about what is really going on in our educational institutions. After years at an inner city school like the one I described above, she is now in a wonderful school filled with very involved parents and on-task students.

I thought she made a great point. She wryly said that in the inner city school where she used to teach, with its poor test scores, she would now probably be labeled a "bad teacher". But in her present school she is considered a "good teacher" because her students are well behaved and her scores are high. She went on to say this:

In her former low-achieving school the students were from a low socio-economic group. There was a high percentage of students needing free or reduced lunches. Many families were in crisis. Most children came from single parent homes. Very few parents volunteered in the class or school. Many were absent from school functions.

In her present high-achieving school, the students come from a high socio-economic group. Very few students need free or reduced lunches. Whatever problems families might be experiencing does not seem to affect student achievement. Only a few students come from broken homes. A high number of parents volunteer in her room and the school. School functions are well supported.

From her point of view she would like to see some of the following things implemented in what I call hardship schools:

· Earlier and better medical diagnosis and treatment of vision, emotional and other handicapping conditions.

· Support for counselors and counseling

· Two certified teachers in every room. At the least, a skilled aide in addition to the classroom teacher.

· More pay for teachers in hardship schools

· Recognition and respect should be accorded to teachers for their work in these schools, rather than the put downs so often heard when scores are low.

She strongly encouraged me to read a book called The Death and Life of the Great American School System by Dr. Diane Ravitch, educator, educational policy analyst and former U.S. Assistant Secretary of Education. Curious, I went on line and read a review of the book, and also found that she had made several worrisome speeches about the state of education in our country. I felt validated by her article, "Stop Trashing Teachers." As my friend encouraged me, I will now encourage you to check out this amazing educator's evolving views on teachers and education.

In the meantime, here are some of my feelings about fixing the schools.

1. Stop trashing the teachers!!! There may be a few bad apples, but by no means is there the number the media would have you believe.

2. Lower the class size, and bring some instructional assistants into challenging classrooms.

3. Offer parenting classes and make them mandatory if students are repeatedly interrupting the learning of others.

4. For those students, remove them immediately from the room to minimize their impact on the learning. Find ways to successfully integrate them back into the classroom.

5. It seems like there is a preponderance of special needs students in low-income schools for a variety of reasons. Could fetal alcohol syndrome be a factor? Are there some "babies raising babies" or young mothers who did not experience good parenting themselves? Are there children of unrecognized abuse and neglect who are bringing their problems to the classroom?

6. Where parents cannot help out, get volunteers to come in to help struggling children and overworked teachers.

7. Make sure the physical playing field is equal. This means computers that work, and technicians who can keep them working. It means a working document camera in every room. It means not having to choose between a librarian, P.E., or art teacher. It means not having to juggle the dollars and choose between more things like nursing hours, an office assistant or a classroom assistant. It means finding a way to supervise the playground during recess that doesn't involve the teacher. Teachers need to make calls, take care of problems that invariably come up, get some last minute item for the next lesson, and even take a minute to use the bathroom. Supervising the playground may show the teacher a different view of the student, but that time is better spent in the classroom or reaching parents.

6. Recognize that until the playing field IS equal, low-achieving schools need all the moral and physical support they can get in order to do the job. This support should come from all quarters. Educators in authority need to remember what it was like when they were in the classroom, and be particularly supportive and helpful. They, of all people, should stick up for the teachers and educate the public.

7. If normally excellent teachers are struggling, give them opportunities to learn better behavior management techniques, or offer them other classroom settings where they can be more effective. I remember one teacher of gifted students, known for her creative teaching style, failing miserably in a classroom of poorly behaved students. She was not a "bad" teacher, but simply one who was better suited to a different population of learners.

And to you, Mr. and Mrs. General Public, why don't you follow the advice of the song "Walk A Mile In My Shoes" by Joe South, as performed by Elvis Presley.

"Walk a mile in my shoes.
Just walk a mile in my shoes.
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse,
then walk a mile in my shoes."

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION 2011: REMOVING THE ROCKS IN THE ROAD

The Rocky Road – Author Unknown

“In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.”

“Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.”

I’ll go one further. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to mature and become stronger. As I look back over the past year and the many obstacles I and other family members and close friends have faced, I am certain of one thing. I feel stronger, wiser and more powerful having traveled my own personal rocky road during 2010. Birth, marriage, divorce, job loss, legal woes, financial concerns, sleepless nights, serious illness, and death were all part of this year's path. No doubt every reader can relate. Yet, despite worry and depression over events beyond my control, here I sit feeling optimistic about the future. I believe that like the song "Going on a Bear Hunt", I'm not going to be afraid - I'll somehow surmount all road blocks. If I can't move the rocks I'll simply figure out how to go around them, and encourage others to do the same.

Here are ten strategies for traveling a rocky road:

1. Train yourself to develop a positive attitude. This CAN be done, but it takes work.

2. Decide to have empathy for others. Put yourself in their place and think how you would feel, and what would make you feel better.

3. Do good deeds without expectation of payback.

4. Develop your listening skills, so that you listen more than you talk.

5. Offer to help someone who is in difficult straits. Running errands, taking a friend or neighbor to the doctor or shopping, offering emergency care for a child, or any other task that would lower someone's stress level, can make a huge positive difference when one is feeling low.

6. If you know someone with children is having marital problems, offer to help out with babysitting so that the people involved can have some alone time.

7. If you see that someone is "stuck" and unable to move ahead in their life, try to find out what the sticking point is, and see if your fresh ideas might be helpful. Example: A young person I know has recently moved with her family far away from friends and her comfort zone. She wants to go to technical school, but doesn't know how to find out what steps she needs to take. I have experience in this area and have received permission from her to explore what she should do first. Thinking about her takes my mind off my own troubles.

8. Go to a nursing home once a month to visit residents there. My mother, along with her friend, baked a birthday cake every month to share with those having birthdays in that month. Many people in nursing homes are forgotten or ignored by their family members and friends, and this small gesture might be the only outside, positive, caring contact some of them have. Visualize how you would feel in this situation; in fact, it could happen to any of us some day!

9. If you have time, explore the idea of becoming a "big brother" or "big sister" for a child in need. Go to www.bbbsa.org/ to learn more. Thinking about others helps remove rocks from the paths of those others as well as one's own.

10. Smile often and have a pleasant, welcoming expression on your face. Say hello. Try it everywhere from the supermarket to people you pass on the street. You will be amazed at how you feel and others respond.

Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea and Listen to the Wind encountered many 'rocks on the road" in Pakistan, where he started schools so that children could learn and have a future. Some of the "rocks" or problems included no place to conduct school, no school supplies, and no bridges to transport materials for making and conducting those schools. In these books we learn how stones along the way were used in the building of bridges and classrooms. One man made a huge difference by removing the rocks on the road figuratively and literally.

Thinking about rocks in our paths makes me think about rocks on the beach. Some are jagged and rough, while others are smoothed and flattened by the water's constant motion, creating good skippers. It seems to me that, in a way, life's rough waters bounce us about and change the way we look and feel. In other words, we're shaped by our problems and how we solve them.

Here's to 2011 and whatever rocks the year may have in store for us. Let's resolve to move the rocks like the man in the fable above and like Greg Mortenson in Pakistan. We may be pleasantly surprised at what's underneath.

"SIMPLE GIFTS" - GIVE YOUR KIDS A FRUGAL LITTLE CHRISTMAS

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight
'Till by turning, turning we come round right
Simple Gifts, by Joseph Brackett,
American Songwriter (1847)

Years ago, as a single mother of three children, 12, 10 and 8, the Christmas holidays were an emotional and financial struggle. Many are facing that same struggle today. It didn't help that we were living on Mercer Island, in an area and time when divorce was still uncommon there, and most folks had the financial wherewithal for the latest in fashion, toys and exciting experiences. An example of the latter was a neighbor who invited one of my sons on a private plane flight to Portland for lunch. It provided a wonderful experience, but also an unattainable hope or expectation for my children.

I experienced a kind of discrimination implying that single mothers were somehow deficient in parenting. If a child from a "broken home" was guilty of a misdeed at school, comments would be something like, (Tsk, Tsk) "Oh, well, what can you expect, coming from a broken home." With a high degree of shame, I confess to having had similar thoughts myself before falling victim to single parenthood.

With minimal child support I was forced to hold two jobs, leaving my children to fend for themselves at times. Looking back I now realize how helpful it actually was to be living in a community which valued intact families and neighborhood connections. If I couldn't be there for my kids, my neighbors could.

I remember always being "a day late and a dollar short" when trying to provide my children with whatever was in at the time, clothing or toy-wise. At one point owning a VCR was a big status symbol among their friends, and finally, after these wonderful machines were common in most Mercer Island family rooms, I scraped together enough for a Magnavox VCR which Santa presented to all three as their main Christmas gift. I think I designed a treasure hunt to get the gift, which added to the fun. Of course renting the VCR movies presented another financial problem because of the membership fee at the video stores. I was truly thankful when that was no longer necessary.

Looking back I realize how many opportunities I deprived my children of by trying to" keep up with the Jones". You never really can. How much better it is to face what you have to face and put a positive spin on it. Giving creative, simple, inexpensive, or even free gifts all beautifully wrapped, containing certificates and gift idea cards would have sent an important message about frugality to my children.

Here are some examples:

1. Dollar Store Adventure Certificate A pre-Christmas present. Present the coupon along with the dollar amount you have determined will work for your family. Such stores are everywhere, and are a wonderful source of items for all occasions. I would be willing to bet that if you gave your kids five or ten dollars to spend they would have a lot of fun trying to choose the right five or ten things that would give the most bang for their bucks. Watching them having fun shopping is actually a gift being returned to you. Completing the adventure might be a stop at the local Dairy Queen or other ice cream store.

2. 'Smore Making Certificate. Each child could have their own certificate, redeemable on a date to be mutually agreed upon. Wrap the certificate up with a box of graham crackers, Hershey bars and bag of marshmallows. A preview taste test would be permissable. Make the 'smores in the fireplace, and serve with some hot cocoa. If you don't have a fireplace, an electric burner works fine. I tried a candle as well, and it also works, although the marshmallow caught on fire a couple of times. As with anything involving flames or heat, this should only be done under adult supervision.

3. Monster Sleepover Certificate. Present it all wrapped up, and include a monster activity sticker book available at your local supermarket, Target or Fred Meyer store. Each child gets a certificate to invite a friend to sleep over. Requirements would be wearing a monster costume, and playing monster games. If you have more than one child, the sleepover certificates can be combined for one big affair.

4. Model and Makeup Party Certificate (Presented all wrapped up along with a bottle of inexpensive nail polish.)This would probably be a girls only party, although little boys might enjoy playing some kind of role. Is there a little girl on the planet who doesn't love dressing up and putting on mom's makeup? Your old clothes, high heels, wigs, hats, and anything else that could be fun for dressing up, can be used. Ask relatives and friends if they have some old clothes they would be willing to loan for the event. Have a curling iron, hair dryer, makeup and nail polish available. Turn the kitchen sink into a beauty salon station and have the girls take turns shampooing each other. Let them also take turns being manicurists, doing each others' nails. When finished, put on a fashion show, with picture taking and champagne (sparkling apple or grape juice).

5. Grand Prix Extravaganza Certificate wrapped up with a special hot wheel race car which you can buy very inexpensively these days. Your child can invite a group of like-minded car racing enthusiasts for a hot wheel Formula One race. Ask each guest to bring their favorite car for Race Day. If some kids don't have such a vehicle in their toy collection, buy a few extra at places like the dollar store. Part of the fun will be having the kids design the race course. This can be simply done by tilting pieces of plywood, or other flat materials, from a chair to the floor and use masking tape to define the lanes. After each race, the course can be repeated for as long as the children remain interested. You can even get a toy trophy for the grand winner and ribbons for all participants - again at the dollar store. Giving each kid a car party favor would be an additional hit. For people who like to bake, a car shaped cake with appropriate frosting would add to this memorable party. Don't forget to take pictures of the participants and cake for later posting on Facebook or other posting, if you have that capability

So, how much have you spent?

Total Approximate Cost of five gifts: From $15.00 to $25.00 depending on the Dollar Store allowance. See the breakdown below:

1. Dollar Store $1 to $10 cash depending on your cash gift.
2. Cost of a box of graham crackers, ($3.29) bag of marshmallows, $1.19 and some Hershey Bars ($ .99 each) Approximately $6.00 although prices vary from store to store
3. Create Your Own Monster Activity Book ($1.50) or other monster book similarly priced.
4. Bottle of nail polish (Wet and Wild) $ .99, Sparkling Grape, $1.00
5. Hot wheel $1.00 - $1.49, cake mix and frosting, approximately 6.50 for two
at Safewy.

And what is the value?

You have five gifts that are exciting to open, provide some immediate fun, and keep on giving for weeks to come. As you plan for each event, the children have the joy of adding their own unique ideas , not to mention anticipating what lies ahead. The value added is in providing the most unique Christmas ever, with memories that will live on for your family and others as well.

Like the song, above about "Simple Gifts" if you create a set of unique gifts for your children, you will be "in a place that is just right for you."

Now click on the YouTube site here to receive my simple gift to you. It's a beautiful rendition of "Simple Gifts" with music and scenes. Have a wonderful, joyful, and frugal holiday season.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBOYYlanm1k

SANTA LUCIA BRINGS LIGHT TO A DARK AND DREARY WORLD

I first learned about Santa Lucia during my freshman year at the University of Washington. Because half my DNA was Swedish, and for some other crazy reasons I won’t go into here, I found myself studying Swedish language and literature. Let’s just say that Dr. Walter Johnson, head of the small department, was quite persuasive.

I knew very little about my father’s Swedish relatives, but by immersing myself in the language I began to explore my roots, and December 13 found me and a number of other girls in the department getting ready for the annual Santa Lucia Pageant held in a large social hall across the street from campus. I was to be one of the attendants, gowned in white, with tinsel in my hair and a plate of cookies in my hand. The girl chosen to be the Lucia was a striking dark blonde, also dressed in a long white gown. On her head would be a crown of lighted candles, and she too would be carrying cookies. An engaging little guy dressed in red pranced along in front, playing the role of Tomten, the elf equivalent of Santa. The lights were dimmed, the hauntingly beautiful Santa Lucia song began to play, and we processed in, our faces aglow as we reenacted once again a tradition going back generations.

I didn’t realize then how important this tradition would become in my life. I went on to spend my junior year at the University of Stockholm where I was chosen to be the Santa Lucia, returning to be given the honor yet again at the U.W.

What is it really all about? In Sweden the festival of Santa Lucia begins on December 13. With the winter solstice approaching it signifies the coming of light to a dark and dreary world as well as the beginning of “Jul” or Christmas. Stories abound about how the tradition came to Sweden, but it originated in Sicily in about 300 AD. Legend has it that there a Christian girl named Lucia was blinded and slain because of her ministrations to the poor, attaining martyrdom. However it came to Sweden, Santa Lucia pageants are held all across the country on or close to the thirteenth. On that morning the music of Santa Lucia is heard everywhere as white robed girls with lighted candles on their heads reenact the age old story to honor the martyred saint.

In homes all over Sweden children wake up in excitement as they prepare to wake their parents with candlelight, singing, coffee and special saffron buns. The oldest daughter gets to wear the crown of lighted candles. Younger daughters wear tinsel in their hair. Sons become star boys, wearing pointed hats and carrying star tipped rods as they parade through the house.

Now on or about December 13 one can find the Santa Lucia reenactment from Stockholm to Seattle, from Fresno to New York City and in locations all over the world. For the past twenty years my husband and I staged a Santa Lucia party for a large group of friends and family. Over the years I had gathered enough long white dresses in many sizes and mens’ shirts, so that whoever showed up could participate. After dinner, the children were all ushered into a back room to assume their roles for the pageant. The oldest girl there became the Lucia, while the others were attendants or princesses and star boys. It was a holiday highlight for many, and with the passing of so many years, children who once played a part, now had children of their own doing the same. After processing throughout the house to the old familiar Santa Lucia song, passing out cookies as they went, the group was positioned for picture taking, and must certainly have felt important to be the center of so much adulation and attention. Glogg, a potent spiced wine, was then set aflame, and served as a fitting end to our annual festival of light.

For years in December as a teacher I gathered up my costumes, battery operated crowns, tinsel, star hats, and cookies and reenacted the Santa Lucia pageant at our school's holiday assembly. The students in this inner city school were predominantly African-American, and I like to think that their exposure to this Swedish tradition was an important part of their multi-cultural growth.

Now retired, I will be subbing tomorrow in a class where the teacher is allowing me to bring in some of my own ideas for the day. So once again I am gathering up my crowns, gowns, and cookies to bring the tradition alive for still another audience. Santa Lucia will shed her light on a new crop of students, hopefully promoting multicultural understanding in a warm and caring fashion.

To see more about the story and to hear the Santa Lucia song being sung, click on the following site. It might touch your heart and bring you joy.

http://www.mamalisa.com/blog/santa-lucia-day-song-and-saying-why-its-a-festival-of-light/

FESTIVAL OF TREES - BELLINGHAM'S GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

Last night my husband, Vaughn, and I hosted a table for ten at the Festival of Trees auction in the former Leopold Hotel's Crystal Ballroom in Bellingham. Although it is now the Leopold Retirement Residence, I fondly remember the once grand hotel as the site of my senior prom in 1955. Seeing that slowly rotating glittering ball was thrilling then, and is equally thrilling now, despite the change in circumstance.

My son, John, introduced us to the Festival of Trees four years ago, knowing that I would love participating in this very unique form of philanthropy - an auction of gloriously decorated Christmas trees. Sponsored by the Health Support Center in Bellingham, twenty-two organizations are provided many services as a result of the auction and other fundraising efforts.

Guaranteed to put even Scrooge in the Christmas spirit, the evening went something like this. Upon entering we got a bidding card and a table number. Walking into the grand old ballroom, we were treated to the sight and sounds of the Bellingham High School Strolling Strings in holiday garb, as they wandered about playing holiday favorites. Tables seating ten were ringed by sixteen uniquely decorated and lighted Christmas trees, each with its own theme, and each decorated and donated by dedicated volunteers.

To name only a few: A tree named "A Poinsettia Christmas" featured handmade felt poinsettias, while a fanciful Grinch was poised atop the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas" tree . "Twas the Night Before Christmas" tree was laden with different Santa ornaments and topped by Santa, a sleigh and eight reindeer made by the decorator's son. All of the trees were set to be auctioned off to the highest bidders. Organizations such as brain injury and Parkinson's support groups, National Alliance on Mental Illness, Northwest Braille Services, Kids Council Northwest and seventeen other worthy causes would benefit by the evening's fundraiser. In addition, auction participants were treated to a silent auction where everything from jewelry to wine and getaways was available for bidding.

Participants feasted on a wonderful roast beef buffet. To get dessert required another creative form of giving. A myriad of delectable desserts, all different, were available for viewing to one side. Each table had a dessert envelope in the middle and people were encouraged to put whatever they could afford in their table's envelope. At a designated time the envelopes were collected and the contents counted. Tables with the most money got first choice of dessert, and so on until everyone had something yummy to eat. Our table, with pick number three, feasted on a calorie laden chocolate cake. Table center pieces were auctioned off in a similar fashion.

After we ate, the evening's master of ceremonies-auctioneer and the center's executive director shared the mission of the Support Center before the bidding began. Caught up in the spirit of giving we successfully bid on "Greetings From The Sea", an evergreen laden with all kinds of handmade sea animals such as starfish, sea horses, crabs and other unique ornaments perfect for our nearby beach cabin.

By the evening's end, sixteen final tree bids ranged from $250 to $1200 were made, which, along with the silent auction, centerpiece auction, dessert contributions and $40.00 per person dinner added up to a successful evening for the Center and its member organizations.
Because of the generous donations of auction gifts, food, venue, decor and other costs there was very little overhead.

A wonderful addition to the Festival is how the trees are delivered to the new tree owners. I understand that early Sunday morning HSC staff, a volunteer tree delivery coordinator, and Boy Scout Troop #23 arrived at the auction site to bag, load and deliver the trees. At a pre-arranged time today, two scouts and an adult came to our house with the tree, set it up in a unique rolling stand, positioned it where indicated, and filled the stand with water. We are now enjoying a seaworthy vision of loveliness in keeping with our view of the Strait of Georgia. To make this experience even better, the same boy scout troop will return on January 6 to pick up the tree and stand for disposal. The trees are taken to a park and rec facility to be chipped and used for mulch. The stands are stored for use the next year. It is an efficient and well run process.

It's a great feeling to know that last night we made a difference in a small way to some important organizations because of the Health Support Center. It is also important to remember that groups like it are working across the country to help others in time of need. To know more about the important work of this organization click on its name. You can also surf the web to find similar organizations in your community, or better yet, find a group of likeminded individuals and start your own festival of support. So many people in need would be grateful.

In the meantime, a heartfelt thank you to all "groups of thoughtful, committed citizens who are changing our world." Have a joyous and rewarding holiday season.

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BOOK NOOK

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein is a serious thought-provoking story, ostensibly for children, about giving, what it means for giver and receiver, and if we are ever faced with the concept of giving too much. It's a soul touching book. I read it to my elementary school students around Christmas to help them think about gifts from the heart, and how parents might feel when it comes to meeting their kids' requests and needs. Children get it, especially those with a developing sense of empathy. For adults there is an even deeper understanding of what seems to be an underlying message. That message one needs to determine for oneself. Listen to the entire story by seeing and hearing The Giving Tree on Youtube, and share it with your kids. Ask them some questions like the ones you find on the Common Sense website here. This website is definitely worth checking.

If you are a teacher, here is a writing idea for students that might prove interesting. After reading the story and a discussion period, give them writing paper with a space above for illustrations. Write this story starter on the board.

"If I could give anything to anyone I would give ____________ to __________.

You can add depth to the writing by having the students tell "why" they would choose to do this. The students will be eager to share. You might be surprised at the results.