A SHORT SALE'S VERY LONG STORY

Foreclosure, bankruptcy, and short sales are words that have become all too common in today’s real estate market. They embody the good, the bad and the ugly for many homeowners.We all know people who bought homes at high prices and who are now underwater on their mortgages, just struggling to hold on. We also know folks who have simply walked away from their dream homes, forced to start over, and with bad credit for years to come.

For a lucky few the short sale is the doorway to homeownership. My daughter, Jonelle, is one of those. In September she decided to give up apartment living in favor of a home which would hold her three storage units full of furniture and other belongings. We were all excited at the prospect, but were naïve about the process, learning many lessons along the way. Here are some of those lessons in case you want to embark on a similar adventure.

Her story went something like this. She found a wonderful pair of agents, Kathy Bowman and Cheryl Stewart, from Lake Real Estate in Green Lake,who seemed to know the market, and had a good understanding of distressed homes. Although, Jonelle, would love to live in the Ballard, Fremont or Green Lake areas, her job was in Edmonds, and the homes were more affordable going north. She decided to concentrate on Edmonds, Shoreline, Lynnwood and Mountlake Terrace. For the next four months she saw scores of homes that were bank owned or available for short sale, and soon learned the difference.

Almost ready to give up, on a dark, rainy night she found a home that she thought would work for her, a 4-bedroom rambler in Mountlake Terrace. It looked like a good deal and besides, weren’t short sales wonderful bargains?! She and her agent put an offer on it and waited. No guarantee she would hear anything soon. And like the proverbial saying, “when it rains, it pours” she found a second house she liked even better in Edmonds which was open for bids at an upcoming auction. Still hearing nothing from the first house, she bid on the second, and continued the waiting game. She was finally notified on the first one that there was a competing offer, so she offered full price plus closing costs. And waited. The auction for the second house came and went, and she learned that her offer was not accepted, but she was second in line. Back to the first house, while waiting we did some searching and found that there was only one lien on the property – that of the lending bank. A notice came through asking if my daughter planned to rent out the home, to which she replied in the negative. It seemed like there was some movement. More waiting. People who had their own short sale stories said it could take up to a year, and still not work. She noticed that short sale homes went pending, only to appear again later as people grew tired of waiting for a response. The “not knowing” was nerve wracking.

Finally the news came that she could have the house if she wanted it. But, she needed an inspection to the tune of several hundred dollars. She also realized the property was on a septic, not sewer system which was a surprise because she assumed sewer systems were routine in urban areas.We encouraged her to get a septic tank inspection to make sure it was in good order. Several hundred more dollars later she found out the septic tank was just fine, but a can of worms was now opened. The city informed all parties that a new owner would have to pay a $4,000 + back assessment because it was supposed to have been hooked up to the city sewer several years ago. Nowhere was such an amount listed, and it certainly wasn’t listed as a lien on the property. Aaarghh! Not only that, the old septic system would have to be decommissioned and the new sewer line connected, to the tune of several thousand dollars more.

At this point she had a decision to make. She could get out of the sale because of this new development. The inspection showed a number of flaws in the house, and any potential repairs raised the amount she would be investing. But it was still a “good buy”, right? The words “as is” are part of every sale of this kind. There seemed to be no recourse to get out of installing the sewer system, unfair as it was. The failure to disclose on the sewer assessment was galling, but the city seemed to hold the cards in the matter, as the bank would not approve the sale unless the work was done.So, long story short, she decided to go for it, and see if there was some way to recoup the loss through small claims against whichever entity was responsible.

One last insult to injury had to do with the furnace. The owner said that it would go on and off and he didn’t know why. So Jonelle had a gas furnace specialist come out and inspect/fix the furnace. To her horror she was told that the furnace had not been serviced in years, and that the filters hadn’t been changed regularly, resulting in a burned out motor and a cost of $l,000 for a new one.

So now she is a bona fide homeowner and waking up to the realization of what that means. Along with the pride of ownership comes unexpected and additional costs not found in apartments – utilities, repairs, yard expenses, and the like. She said it felt like a bottomless money pit. “Yup, that’s what having a home is all about!” said I, a seasoned owner of a house, a cabin, a rental home, and two prior rentals that lost money because of the recent recession.

I think, though, that she will do just fine. She has dealt with every obstacle with inside trepidation and and an outside calm demeanor. She got a good enough deal, even with all the financial angst, that she will probably do well even if the future economic picture looks bleak.

If you are thinking of pursuing a path like hers, here are some things to think about.

1. Read up on short sales and bank foreclosure comparisons. There are many good sites, but an excellent one put out by Twin Cities Real Estate has a one page comparison of traditional short sale and foreclosed/bank owned properties.

2. Find an agent who will take as much time with you as Jonelle’s agent, Kathy, did. They went out night after night and many weekends for months on end. Bless you, Kathy. Both Kathy and Cheryl advised Jonelle and held her hand throughout.

3. Get pre-approved. Jonelle went with Sterling Savings Bank and her loan officer was Barb Huber-Read. Barb is kind, helpful and went the “extra mile” in spite of the crunch at the end caused in part by unexpected and heavy snow and a Fed Ex truck that was late because of icy road conditions.

4. On short sales determine if there is more than one primary lien holder. This can slow down the process.

5. If you are lucky enough to live in Seattle you can go to Seattle Short Sales for possible assistance.

6. If you need help with a sewer/septic system, we were truly fortunate to find Dustun, owner of Above Grade Septic. He responded quickly with a bid, was amazingly adept at what he does, and was able to handle a difficult problem concerning the depth of the sewer hook-up. I can’t say enough good things about him.

Finally, make sure you have a sense of humor and a healthy dose of patience. Finding someone who can do the leg work and field calls while you are stuck at your office desk is necessary. Also, have a big group of friends who have generally helpful natures. Lure them over with a promise of beer/wine and pizza. By this time it’s probably all you can afford. Good luck and God bless!

THE IMPORTANCE OF MEMOIRS - FROM MARTIN TO LOUISE TO ME TO YOU

"Memoirs are the backstairs of history." George Meredith

Last week I wrote about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and how his existence made a difference in my life, both personally and professionally. I also mentioned the many people of color who have enriched, challenged and mentored me. One of those mentors was Louise McKinney, an amazing woman I first met when she was a principal at Sacajawea Elementary School and I was assigned to that school as a beginning teacher. Her belief in me and the example she set as an academic leader was the foundation on which I built my own success in the classroom, and the inspiration to be all that I could be.

Our paths touched throughout the years, even as she rose to be the Director of the Office of Academic Achievement in Seattle Public Schools, and I went from Sacajawea, Alki and finally to Martin Luther King Elementary School (MLK) where I stayed for l8 years.

It was logical then, that when financial good fortune allowed my husband and I to found the Martin Luther King School Dream Foundation, Louise would become a board member. Our mission was to give scholarships to former students of MLK and we have been doing that since 1999. Since then she has retired, I have retired and the school has closed, but her belief in me and my appreciation of her have not wavered.

In addition to her academic endeavors, she was also the wife of Rev. Samuel McKinney, retired pastor of Seattle’s Mount Zion Baptist Church. I have long known about their importance and influence in the Seattle community, and that they knew Martin Luther King, Jr. and his wife, Coretta, personally. It was only in a recent conversation with Louise that I learned the extent of their friendship with the Kings, and just how big a role they played in helping bring racial equality to our country. We have in them a local treasure trove of historical stories and insights.

How Martin and Samuel met, became friends, and later classmates at Morehouse College, and how they and others like them changed the face of America with planned peaceful demonstrations is another story, among many already written, that needs to be told. It was fascinating to hear firsthand how Martin went from being a shy, quiet child, to the dynamic inspirational speaker we all knew. Somehow hearing Louise talk about those early years of the peace movement, as one who had been there and participated, makes Dr. King and that time period more real. Here is another anecdote she shared that touched my heart and made this god-like man seem so real.

In November of 1961, Martin came to speak in Seattle at the Eagle’s Auditorium, now ACT. At that time Louise was a young mother of a six year old and a 2 month old. She desperately wanted to hear the speech, but the baby was colicky and would not stop crying. When Martin arrived at their home and saw the crying baby, he picked her up, comforted her, and within short order the baby was sleeping in his arms. He insisted that the distressed mother find a babysitter so that she could attend the performance along with her husband.

What a story! In my recent conversation with Louise I urged her to write her memoir, and that her husband do the same. It is so important to hear what really happened from those who were present, rather than reading a biography that might be incomplete and carry some mistruths.

Sadly I was not able to take my own advice. I had planned to write a family memoir called “Point of View” which would have shown how birth order over a twenty year span of time affects family dynamics. I was second youngest of seven children whose lives spanned the period before the Great Depression until the present day with all its technological advances. My procrastination meant that two sisters passed away before I could accomplish my task. If I ever do manage to write my family’s story, it will certainly not be as accurate as it could have been.

If you are reading this article, then you are showing an interest in people and events. You too have memories that need to be documented in order to recognize your place in history and what it might mean for those in your family who come after you. Here is an example. My husband’s grandfather left a small daily journal among his belongings, and many entries were simply the day to day events of his life at the time. Simple as it was, it was fascinating to read about his going to town in a horse drawn wagon, buying supplies, returning to do farm chores and the like.

I guess what I am saying is that your history doesn’t have to be as dramatic as that of Louise McKinney. It will still be of interest to your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. So don’t delay. Start tonight and write a few sentences about your day. Future generations will thank you.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. WHAT A MAN!

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Nearly twenty-five years ago I started teaching at Martin Luther King Elementary School in Seattle. I knew a little about the man for whom the school was named, but was ignorant about black history, black culture and black people in general. The ensuing eighteen years brought about enlightenment on all fronts. After many classroom experiences with predominantly minority children, interactions with black parents and workshops dealing with racism I became an active anti-racist.

During those years I harangued my students into doing their best in school, being proud of themselves and reaching their potential. "Who knows," I would say, "one of you might be the first black president some day." Now, if I had my own classroom, I would have to qualify my words to say "One of you might be president someday" without the color adjective. We have come a long, long way, and I think most people would agree that Martin Luther King, Jr. played a major role.

Learning about him over the years, and preparing my students for the assembly honoring him each January, I gained a keen appreciation for his courage, conviction and message. His "I have a dream speech", delivered on August 28, 1963 during the march on Washington, sends chills through me to this day. Here is one of my favorite passages, which I hope will touch you, the reader, the way it touched me.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today.

We have indeed come a long way since these words were spoken. We have racial equality on most fronts not seen in the sixties. We have black children being judged by the content of their character. We have little white boys and little white girls joining hands with little black boys and little black girls. We have the ultimate proof of acceptance, President Barak Obama, our nation's first African-American leader.

It's personal with me as I watch an amazing friendship grow between my granddaughter, Lily, and her African American friend Kiyah. The two thirteen-year-olds hang out at school, after school and on the basketball court. They have a fist bumping routine that must be seen to be believed, and it gets more complicated each time they do it. I would not be surprised if they remained close friends throughout their lives. Thank you, Dr. King. At least in this corner of the world, your dream was realized, and it has enriched us all.

Of course many say we still have a long way to go, that there is still bias and racism, but I take comfort in a story related to me by Lily's mom. She is a kindergarten teacher in Bellingham and told me how she teaches the concept of fairness, by connecting it to Martin Luther King, Jr. Prior to reading a story to her young charges last Friday, she set it up so that only the little blonde children could be sitting on the floor in front of her where they could hear and see well. All the children with black, brown or red hair had to sit at a back table. You can imagine the resulting hue and cry. From there she was able to have a discussion on their level, that opened their eyes to how unfair it was in the past that children of color were not treated fairly. Their sense of fairness versus unfairness was so entrenched her students could not comprehend how such behavior could have existed. Yes, we've come a long ways.

Doctor King’s birthday tomorrow will be a day of celebration all across the land. I urge you to watch his “I have a dream” speech via Youtube video. It will transport you back to a tumultuous time in our country’s past. If you haven't seen it before, or heard its life changing message, you will be awestruck by the scope of history you are observing. And perhaps like me, you will feel the thrill that comes from knowing that a man of vision took our country to another level of understanding, compassion, and justice.

MEXICAN STANDOFF IN A GUAYMAS WALMART

It was my fault really. Armed with a 3 month Spanish language class from Edmonds Community College, I just wanted to take my knowledge to the next level - really communicating with native Spanish speakers. Well I flunked. Big time. My Spanish professor who had given me a well deserved “A” in the class would have been disgusted and disillusioned. I worried that maybe I had beginning Alzheimers. But enough, here’s the whole sad story.

My husband and I were taking a 25^th silver anniversary holiday in San Carlos, Mexico, and staying at the beautiful Sea of Cortez Beach Club. We found out online that the daytime temperatures were going to be in the mid 80s. Perfect! Night time temperatures didn’t register on our consciousness, but once there we realized that we were ill equipped to hang out in an unheated room with temperatures in the 40s. After two nights of cold that beat Seattle, I decided I needed something warmer than my romantic teddy in order to sleep.

Having seen a Walmart on the way from the airport, I thought, “Ah-hah, a great place to pick up some warm nightwear.” Telling my long-suffering man that I would only be a minute, I dashed into the store. It was huge, with few English words in sight. I finally spotted some long pants in what looked like the ladies’ sleepwear department, but I wasn’t sure that size CH would work. In fact I couldn’t figure out what it even meant. Three sales ladies visiting nearby were completely baffled by my question about sizes, and stared at me without comprehension. It was at that moment that an overwhelming need to use a bathroom struck and would not be denied. Switching questions I asked about a bathroom. I absolutely could NOT remember the word for toilet. I gestured, and said “toilet, toiletten, too-ah-let” but to no avail. Short of taking down my pants and squatting, it wasn’t going to work. Finally one gestured to follow and we headed to the back of the store which proved to be a very long walk. Once there she pointed to the back corner, smiling and nodding.

I smiled and nodded back. This made sense, I had been in stores like Home Depot or Lowes, where the bathrooms were in the rear corner, so headed quickly in that direction only to find a dead end. Turning in desperation I found another saleslady who was equally unskilled in English and I went through the same charade. She nodded, then went to a phone at the pharmacy counter. No luck. She didn’t understand what I wanted, and I was truly desperate. Because I can speak a little Swedish, a little French and a very little Russian I tried all the words that might work - toaletten, toilettes, and tualet – to no avail. Finally I asked for paper and pencil and drew a picture of a toilet. To this she simply shook her head vehemently and said “no, no, no” and with a few more gestures I finally realized she thought I wanted to BUY a toilet. I shook my head equally vehemently, and she finally seemed to get what was needed. Again nodding and smiling, she beckoned for me to follow her back to the very front of the store, pointing victoriously to a huge sign proclaiming something like los sanitarios, with the familiar man-woman symbols underneath. I had walked right by it, unseeing, on arrival, and then it hit me….bano! The words los banos had eluded me. A 5 minute shopping expedition had turned into a 25 minute misadventure with the uncomfortable realization that I had a very long way to go before I could claim any knowledge of the Spanish language.

I guess the moral of the story is to take a pocket size phrase book with you whenever you are visiting another country, and not to assume that people will understand your needs. For your information I have researched the word for toilet in every country to which you might travel. The variety of words are astounding. http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/toilet.htm

The other lesson learned was that I had better get serious about making use of my Rosetta Stone CDs before I head south again. And I DO want to take another trip to visit our southern neighbors. What a friendly, helpful and delightful group of people! Perhaps, in a later blog, I will tell you more about the outdoor market and beautiful harbor in Guaymas, great tasting coffee and buns at Barracuda Bob's, the amazing view while having a drink at Charlie’s Rock, the anniversary dinner at Blackie’s, a truly authentic Mexican lunch at Rosa's Cantina, the funny music at Bananas, the pearl farm near the university, the nature cruise with Gary and Donna, birdwatching everywhere, especially dive bombing pelicans, the quaint little fishing village at the end of a dirt road, and the hotel’s outstanding restaurant-bar, pool and hot tub.

Though originally influenced by all the cautions listed on certain web sites, as well as those uttered by friends and family members, we felt perfectly safe in both Guaymas and San Carlos. We learned that tourism is down by over 70% in that area, and that this area which depends a lot on tourism is suffering economically. We met several people who had driven down from Phoenix and California, and we ourselves rented a car to do some exploring. So, put this part of Mexico in your travel plans. You definitely won’t be sorry.

MIRACLE AT THE MALL. YES, KACEY THERE REALLY IS A SANTA!

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. ~Author Unknown

Two of my granddaughters and their mom came from Bellingham to Edmonds for their annual holiday dress shopping spree last Tuesday. In the past we parked at Seattle Center, checked out the latest displays there, rode the monorail, walked the streets of Seattle, enjoyed a horse driven carriage ride, viewed the marvelous gingerbread houses at the Sheraton Hotel, and soaked up all the street activity – musicians, homeless panhandlers, store windows filled with animated displays, and the pulsating crowds of last minute shoppers and gawkers.

But this year, Lily was a 13-year old and the game plan was different. It was a “shop ‘til you drop” kind of day, and we started from Edmonds at noon, driving through stop and go freeway traffic, finally paying $l5.00 to park in a garage on Pike street. Thus we began a marathon of looking for a particular black dress to be worn to a friend’s December 31 Bat Mitzvah. The dress in question had been spotted on an internet site and was currently only available out of Canada according to our new teenager. Surely we would be able to find its counterpart in the big city of Seattle. Her sister, ten year old Kacey, was tagging unhappily along, visions of fish throwing at the market, another horse carriage ride, or an IMAX movie dancing in her head. The latter was not to be as we gamely went from one store to another in search of the perfect dress. By the time we had checked out American Eagle Outfitters, Express, Urban Outfitters, H & M, and Forever 21, to name only a few, it was 5:00 p.m. and we were hungry and discouraged. I suggested we head north to Alderwood Mall, meet their Auntie Nelle at Claim Jumper for some sustenance, and to continue our quest at Nordstrom and Macy’s. As we walked back to the car the girls were somewhat scandalized by the blatant pot smoker who stood near us as we waited to cross the street. We all “tsked, tsked,” and Kacey held her nose in disgust. It was probably a little more fascinating than the street scene in Bellingham.

We fought rush hour traffic heading north on I-5, but because we were eligible for the carpool lane, made the trip in record time. After regaining our strength at the restaurant we headed to Nordstrom but had no luck. Macy’s was next. They had a large selection, but none matched the envisioned dress. It must have a certain bodice, a twirly skirt and skinny shoulder straps. By this time, close to 8:00 p.m., like Rosa Parks, I just had to sit down. I told them they could find me at the outside Starbucks when they were finished shopping. During the 90-minute wait I had a skinny peppermint mocha and a very long phone conversation with my sister, Judy. I was considering a nap when suddenly they appeared, laughing hysterically, and filled with the need to tell about the “miracle” that had happened to them in one of the stores.

Apparently Kacey had spotted Santa and had taken off after him to tell him about her sister’s dilemma. One minute he was there and then he simply vanished. It seemed strange and impossible, and perhaps some kind of omen. In the meantime, Lily had found a dress that would have to do, and was standing in line to pay with her aunt, mother and Kacey, who was babbling about her Santa experience. They were telling the sales clerk their long, sad story, when suddenly she said a dress had just been returned and maybe they should look at it. Would you believe it was the VERY dress they had been looking for all along, in the exact right size, and here it was before their very eyes?

Of course they were full of this miracle, and Kacey just knew Santa had something to do with it. And who can argue?

Now the 2011 shopping trip to Seattle is just a memory. Lily will no doubt always remember her search for and finding the perfect dress, Kacey will always remember how much she hated all the shopping, the stinky pot smoker and Santa’s amazing disappearance, their mom made sure we would all remember everything, by taking many pictures to commemorate the miracle, and I will always remember the year that a little girl crossed over into young womanhood, when shopping became more important than anything else that downtown Seattle at Christmas had to offer.

I close by wishing you a very wonderful holiday, no matter how you celebrate, and a hope that you can look back on the year with a degree of peace and contentment. Here are some Christmas gift suggestions made by Oren Arnold: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

THE SECRET OF THE POWER PURSE

A couple of days ago two professional women, each top in her field, came to our house for what could have been a difficult business meeting. They did not know each other or have full knowledge of the other's expertise. In working together one of them would have to change direction. My husband was uncomfortable. Although a trained diplomat, mediator, and facilitator he did not look forward to a possible confrontation between two high powered women. He misunderstood one very important thing - the power of the purse as ice breaker and relationship builder.

They arrived within minutes of each other. The last to arrive walked into the family room where coffee was available, and the women were introduced. Both still had their purses draped over their arms. Suddenly, eyes locked on each others' purses, they nearly swooned over the two bags, one plain black and the other a colorful fabric.

The ensuing conversation went something like this:

"Your bag is fabulous!"

"I got it at the Vera Bradley store in Bellevue."

"I love it!"

" Yours is amazing too!"

"Look at these pockets!"

"I know, aren't they wonderful, and look at this perfect place for my cell phone!"

The conversation continued unabated for several minutes. By this time they were enthusiastically checking out each other's bags, oohing and aahing over all the pockets, big and small, that held the accoutrements of a typical high powered business woman.

My husband stood by trying, without success, to suggest they all go into the living room to begin their meeting. The ladies weren't the least bit interested as they continued to extol the virtues of their particular handbags and how much they loved the Vera Bradley line. I, on the other hand, stood by in amusement as I watched him watching them, speechless and thunderstruck.

Eventually they moved to a table where they began to address the issues at hand. By this time they were in such accord that any possible conflict was averted, decisions were made amiably and a new relationship was forged.

This happened Thursday. Today, I am still chuckling to myself at the memory of my husband's bewilderment and the look on his face. I think almost any man watching this scenario would have reacted similarly. Not so a woman. We understand the importance of shared experiences and the enjoyment found in the little things in life. When we find common ground in something as mundane as a purse it creates a bond and allows us to hear each other on a deeper level.

Watching the incident unfold made me realize how much I enjoy being a woman, and how sorry I am for men who probably think a discussion about purses is shallow and meaningless. Sadly they don't realize that important relationships can begin with something seemingly insignificant only to be forged into a powerful experience.

We have long heard about dressing for success in a power suit. I would suggest that adding a power purse is a "must". It can even be a pretty fabric handbag, designed by Vera Bradley, which holds a computer, a cell phone and other "office on the go" items. Perhaps even Vera doesn't realize the secret weapon her purses hold - that of ice breaker and relationship builder.

TWENTY-FIVE HOLIDAY GOOD DEEDS

Last year I blogged about inventing an advent calendar for kids while also sharing the religious meaning of advent. It included 25 activities children could enjoy as they counted off the days until Christmas. In looking back I think it is worth revisiting, and you can do that by going to my article of November 28, 2010 called "The advent calendar for kids - secular vs. Christian."

This year I suggest trying something different. How about if we adults mark off the days until Christmas by giving something back to others in twenty-five different ways. You can think of it as your own personal advent calendar of giving. Here are some ideas.

1. A favorite expression in the last decade is called "paying it forward". Give a small amount of money at the next drive-through food or coffee house, and tell the window attendant to apply it towards the purchase of the person behind you. You can suggest that he tell the lucky recipient to pass it on if he or she is able.

2. Buy a poinsettia and put it on the doorstep of a family you know has little money and few bright spots. Include a card that says "Happy Holidays."

3. Visit a nearby assisted living or nursing home and offer to be a personal shopper for residents who might find it difficult or impossible to buy holiday presents for their family members.

4. Do the same thing at a similar home for the elderly, only let the task be helping with choosing and sending out Christmas cards to their loved ones.

5. Buy or make a cake to celebrate December birthdays at a nursing home. In fact, commit to doing it monthly starting in January. My mother and her friend Stella arranged monthly birthday parties for a Bellingham facility, providing goodwill and caring for all concerned.

6. If you have a neighbor with young children, offer to baby sit while the mother does some errands.

7. For young couples with little money "date nights" are sometimes non-existent. Provide babysitting for a date night. If you have some extra money throw in a couple of tickets at a nearby movie theater.

8. If you have a truck or large SUV offer to bring home a Christmas tree from a lot or farm for a family whose car is too small to accomplish the task. Such a truck could also be used for hauling junk to a dump so that a vehicle does not need to be rented.

9. Offer to clean house for someone who has been ill or has been going through a stressful time.

10. Call a friend with whom you have not been in contact and renew the friendship.

11. Any activity that brings excitement or pleasure to others can be considered a good deed in my book. Inviting friends in for a popcorn and video night generates well being and caring. The same can be said for ideas #12-#16.

12. Have a white elephant party where people bring unwanted beautifully wrapped gifts to exchange. The old saying that one person's white elephant can be another person's prize applies.

13. Have a book exchange party where the invited guests bring beautifully wrapped books to share with others. Wanting others to know about a book you have enjoyed is a thoughtful gesture.

14. Cookie baking and decorating can be a reminder of simpler days. Have guests bring their favorite cookies for exchanging with each other. Even more fun is when the guests actually make and bake the cookies that night. Have plenty of milk on hand. Milk and cookies....um-ummm! Hosting such an evening takes time and talent, and can certainly qualify as a good deed if guests leave with a warm memory.

15. Think about days gone by. Decide you will make root beer this year. See the youtube indicated here for directions as to how.

16. If your root beer has been made early in December, plan to make ice cream later in the month. The site here shows how to make ice cream several different ways. You can even have a homemade root beer float party.

17. Apply the adage "Charity begins at home." If you are a husband, put some zest in your love life by forgoing your favorite TV program and taking your wife/significant other out on the town. An inexpensive date could be a movie followed by appetizers and wine at a romantic cocktail lounge. Tell your "date" to dress up, then make sure to tell her how terrific she looks.

18. If you are a wife/significant other, tell your man you are taking him out to a place he will enjoy. Depending on the venue, tell him how to dress. Whether it is a wrestling match, football game, or billiards, make it special for HIM. Tell him how wonderful he is and how much you appreciate him.

19. Hugs and kisses are free. If they are in short supply at your house, decide to show more affection every day to your loved ones, adults and kids alike.

20. Leave loving notes in unexpected places in the house. Such notes found in places like often used drawers, medicine cabinets, cupboards or lunch boxes are morale and love boosters.

21. If you have been estranged from a family member, decide to show forgiveness by making contact and ending the estrangement. Food is a great way to break the ice, and you can make arrangements to drop by with some kind of special treat, and the words "I'm sorry" ready to be spoken.

22. Either on your own or with others decide how you can make the holidays more joyful for service men and women who are far from home and loved ones. Go to a site such as "Care package and equipment suggesetions for deployed military," for ideas and directions.

23. Go through your cupboards and put together a bag of food items that are still useable. Deliver them to your local food bank. These banks can be found on line simply by typing in the words "food banks in Seattle" for example.

24. Helping the needy anytime is a good thing, but helping the needy during the holidays is particularly satisfying. Go to a site listed here under that heading, and you will find many useful ideas.

25. Attending a church Christmas Eve service, with its candles and music would be a wonderful way to complete your holiday activities. Bring along someone who no longer drives to make it especially meaningful.

These are just a few ways to bring pleasure and add meaning to your life and the lives of others. I close with a quote by William James. "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."