"SIMPLE GIFTS" - GIVE YOUR KIDS A FRUGAL LITTLE CHRISTMAS

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight
'Till by turning, turning we come round right
Simple Gifts, by Joseph Brackett,
American Songwriter (1847)

Years ago, as a single mother of three children, 12, 10 and 8, the Christmas holidays were an emotional and financial struggle. Many are facing that same struggle today. It didn't help that we were living on Mercer Island, in an area and time when divorce was still uncommon there, and most folks had the financial wherewithal for the latest in fashion, toys and exciting experiences. An example of the latter was a neighbor who invited one of my sons on a private plane flight to Portland for lunch. It provided a wonderful experience, but also an unattainable hope or expectation for my children.

I experienced a kind of discrimination implying that single mothers were somehow deficient in parenting. If a child from a "broken home" was guilty of a misdeed at school, comments would be something like, (Tsk, Tsk) "Oh, well, what can you expect, coming from a broken home." With a high degree of shame, I confess to having had similar thoughts myself before falling victim to single parenthood.

With minimal child support I was forced to hold two jobs, leaving my children to fend for themselves at times. Looking back I now realize how helpful it actually was to be living in a community which valued intact families and neighborhood connections. If I couldn't be there for my kids, my neighbors could.

I remember always being "a day late and a dollar short" when trying to provide my children with whatever was in at the time, clothing or toy-wise. At one point owning a VCR was a big status symbol among their friends, and finally, after these wonderful machines were common in most Mercer Island family rooms, I scraped together enough for a Magnavox VCR which Santa presented to all three as their main Christmas gift. I think I designed a treasure hunt to get the gift, which added to the fun. Of course renting the VCR movies presented another financial problem because of the membership fee at the video stores. I was truly thankful when that was no longer necessary.

Looking back I realize how many opportunities I deprived my children of by trying to" keep up with the Jones". You never really can. How much better it is to face what you have to face and put a positive spin on it. Giving creative, simple, inexpensive, or even free gifts all beautifully wrapped, containing certificates and gift idea cards would have sent an important message about frugality to my children.

Here are some examples:

1. Dollar Store Adventure Certificate A pre-Christmas present. Present the coupon along with the dollar amount you have determined will work for your family. Such stores are everywhere, and are a wonderful source of items for all occasions. I would be willing to bet that if you gave your kids five or ten dollars to spend they would have a lot of fun trying to choose the right five or ten things that would give the most bang for their bucks. Watching them having fun shopping is actually a gift being returned to you. Completing the adventure might be a stop at the local Dairy Queen or other ice cream store.

2. 'Smore Making Certificate. Each child could have their own certificate, redeemable on a date to be mutually agreed upon. Wrap the certificate up with a box of graham crackers, Hershey bars and bag of marshmallows. A preview taste test would be permissable. Make the 'smores in the fireplace, and serve with some hot cocoa. If you don't have a fireplace, an electric burner works fine. I tried a candle as well, and it also works, although the marshmallow caught on fire a couple of times. As with anything involving flames or heat, this should only be done under adult supervision.

3. Monster Sleepover Certificate. Present it all wrapped up, and include a monster activity sticker book available at your local supermarket, Target or Fred Meyer store. Each child gets a certificate to invite a friend to sleep over. Requirements would be wearing a monster costume, and playing monster games. If you have more than one child, the sleepover certificates can be combined for one big affair.

4. Model and Makeup Party Certificate (Presented all wrapped up along with a bottle of inexpensive nail polish.)This would probably be a girls only party, although little boys might enjoy playing some kind of role. Is there a little girl on the planet who doesn't love dressing up and putting on mom's makeup? Your old clothes, high heels, wigs, hats, and anything else that could be fun for dressing up, can be used. Ask relatives and friends if they have some old clothes they would be willing to loan for the event. Have a curling iron, hair dryer, makeup and nail polish available. Turn the kitchen sink into a beauty salon station and have the girls take turns shampooing each other. Let them also take turns being manicurists, doing each others' nails. When finished, put on a fashion show, with picture taking and champagne (sparkling apple or grape juice).

5. Grand Prix Extravaganza Certificate wrapped up with a special hot wheel race car which you can buy very inexpensively these days. Your child can invite a group of like-minded car racing enthusiasts for a hot wheel Formula One race. Ask each guest to bring their favorite car for Race Day. If some kids don't have such a vehicle in their toy collection, buy a few extra at places like the dollar store. Part of the fun will be having the kids design the race course. This can be simply done by tilting pieces of plywood, or other flat materials, from a chair to the floor and use masking tape to define the lanes. After each race, the course can be repeated for as long as the children remain interested. You can even get a toy trophy for the grand winner and ribbons for all participants - again at the dollar store. Giving each kid a car party favor would be an additional hit. For people who like to bake, a car shaped cake with appropriate frosting would add to this memorable party. Don't forget to take pictures of the participants and cake for later posting on Facebook or other posting, if you have that capability

So, how much have you spent?

Total Approximate Cost of five gifts: From $15.00 to $25.00 depending on the Dollar Store allowance. See the breakdown below:

1. Dollar Store $1 to $10 cash depending on your cash gift.
2. Cost of a box of graham crackers, ($3.29) bag of marshmallows, $1.19 and some Hershey Bars ($ .99 each) Approximately $6.00 although prices vary from store to store
3. Create Your Own Monster Activity Book ($1.50) or other monster book similarly priced.
4. Bottle of nail polish (Wet and Wild) $ .99, Sparkling Grape, $1.00
5. Hot wheel $1.00 - $1.49, cake mix and frosting, approximately 6.50 for two
at Safewy.

And what is the value?

You have five gifts that are exciting to open, provide some immediate fun, and keep on giving for weeks to come. As you plan for each event, the children have the joy of adding their own unique ideas , not to mention anticipating what lies ahead. The value added is in providing the most unique Christmas ever, with memories that will live on for your family and others as well.

Like the song, above about "Simple Gifts" if you create a set of unique gifts for your children, you will be "in a place that is just right for you."

Now click on the YouTube site here to receive my simple gift to you. It's a beautiful rendition of "Simple Gifts" with music and scenes. Have a wonderful, joyful, and frugal holiday season.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBOYYlanm1k