BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL WORLD COMMUNITY FAMIILY BY FAMILY

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in
order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate
our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." Author unknown

We had a family gathering two weeks ago, drawing together relatives who had not seen each other for months or even years. The drawing card was meeting nine Swedish relatives most of us had never seen before, and giving them a warm welcome. We did that in spades, and I think we all felt the richer for our efforts.

The internet made it possible to track down and send a general invitation to all family members who had e-mail and were able to attend one or more events. We are talking about nearly seventy people! They all learned about several planned gatherings--a July 4 beach picnic with fireworks, an elegant dinner buffet, and several continental breakfasts in Whatcom County, followed by the usual sightseeing, a typical urban style outdoor dinner and a lot of shopping in Seattle. Also in the plan was the Duck Tour a visit to Pike Place Market and time spent absorbing the sights and sounds of downtown.

I should mention here that ours is a complex, multi-faceted family which has seen its share of marriage, divorce, remarriages, blends of all kinds, and a fair amount of personal drama. It became clear through various conversations that the same could be said for our Swedish guests.

The visit produced a few interesting results. On our side, some old wounds were healed, some opinions were changed, and some real communication took place. Beyond that we were exposed to another culture by well informed, well educated, typical Swedes who spoke excellent English. This made it possible to fully understand each other. On their side they were amazed at the warmth and caring by Americans in general from New York City where they began their vacation, to the Pacific Northwest. They were particularly enthralled with Winthrop, a cowboy-like western town on the North Cascades Highway. On that side trip they also went to Leavenworth which most of us enjoy because it makes us feel like we're in Switzerland. Since they had been to the real Switzerland I think they looked at Leavenworth as a tourist heaven.

One late evening we enjoyed a conversation about our political systems which highlighted our countries' mutual concerns. I had always had the perception that Swedes in general were very happy with their social democracy, and that although their taxes were high in order to have free medical care and free higher education, they believed in resulting benefits. These folks were worried about the direction their government was going, the quality of their schools and their immigrations problems, with "foreigners" taking jobs from Swedes, etc. It sounded familiar. As a teacher, one bit of information interested me. Children with special needs were not served as well in the public schools are are ours. These children often found educational homes in schools like Montessori.

Their English speaking ability was phenomenal, from the 13 year old twins and their 16 year old brother, to the two older girls, ages 22 and 27, and their parents. This is not uncommon in Sweden. I am a little jealous that they learn more than one language at school from a young age.

I think we Americans could take a lesson in civility and courtesy from our northern friends across the ocean. They came bearing wonderful gifts for several family members who would be entertaining them. We received beautiful Swedish crystal and wall hangings. Unusual food appeared out of suitcases to tempt our palates - tasty cheeses, herring, caviar and those wonderful large round crackers called knakkebrod. Constant offers of help and expressions of appreciation were made. Although at one point all nine were at our small beach cabin and at the one next door, their polite and unobtrusive presence made the time enjoyable.

We waved goodbye eleven days after they arrived, as they headed for the airport and the last two legs of their journey - first Los Angeles and then San Francisco. It was a bittersweet moment, because even though promises were made to get together again soon, experience tells us that travel and economics make frequent visits impossible. The wonderful technological gift of skyping will, however, allow for virtual visits.

I did not want to let go of the excitement from all of our get-togethers, and the chance to really get to know many relatives I saw only occasionally. I polled a few people in the family to see what they thought about having a monthly or quarterly newsletter about our family to keep this new closeness alive. Everyone I talked to thought it was a great idea. I was most impressed by the answer of my niece who has had a challenging but successful life. Against great odds she has raised twins as a single parent, and is now going for her master's degree in communication. She thought a newsletter keeping us all informed and allowing us all to be "reporters" of our news was a good idea. Having studied law, societies and justice as an undergrad, she believes in the importance of communities. Really, by getting to know each other better, and accepting our various lifestyles and belief systems, we are building community in our family. Her view is that if we can't have successful relationships within our family, how can we expect to have them in the world at large. It's a great point. Robert M. Hutchins said "A world community can only exist with world communication, which means something more than extensive software facilities scattered about the globe. It means common understanding, a common tradition, common ideas and common ideals." Surely that's a goal within our grasp.