Sunday, February 5, 2012

CIVILITY+COMPASSION+COMMUNITY=GOOD CITIZENSHIP

I was in quaint downtown Edmonds the other day, and saw a sight to gladden my eyes. A little girl was walking with a grabber in one hand and a plastic bag in the other. She was accompanied by an elderly woman I assume was her grandmother. The bag was full of trash and it appeared that a good example of civic/community service was taking place.

What an effective way to teach community involvement, I thought to myself. It struck me that this simple activity put new meaning to the word "grassroots." The grandma was teaching a fundamental lesson of caring about one'scommunity. It would not surprise me if the child was learning other important lessons at home - like how to be civil to others, how to show compassion, and what it mean to be a good citizen.

How does our country's general population stack up in these four"Cs" ? Not well, if what we see on television is any measure. The rude, lewd behavior our children witness daily, the brutality of bullying at school, dissension and child abuse at home, and the out and out lies, distortion of the facts, or spin as it is now called, by our nation's leaders and media are appalling lessons that undermine our country and our world.

Although "Respect others" is posted on every classroom wall, and teachers fight the "respect battle" daily, children are often subjected to bad behavior everywhere in their lives. We decry the lack of civility in others yet important and visible adults are verbally bashing each other at home, in sporting events, in the media and even in cartoons.

Recently, those involved in this election cycle have been guilty of name calling, spinning the truth, self interest, and flagrant disrespect of their opponents . If you, like me, agonize about these issues, what can you do? I think one answer is to make a difference in one's own world. We throw our pebbles of compassion, civility and community service into the pool of caring, and teach our children to do the same. Then we hope that the ripple effect will bring about a positive change for everyone.

Here are ten effective pebbles to teach children how to be compassionate, caring, civil community members and citizens:

1. Use the example above and take your child on a "clean up" stroll through your own community.

2. Find articles in the newspaper or online about what is going on in our country and the world, and selectively share them for discussion. Example: Today, in the N.Y. Times there was an article about how protesting a soccer match caused a riot in Egypt. Talking about why riots happen, and how they can be avoided could be useful.

2. If you give your children an allowance, show involvement by having them give 10% to a charitable cause. Let them choose the cause after you discuss possible options.

3. Teach respect for the elderly by bringing cookies or pretty cards to a nursing or assisted living facility. Valentine's Day is a great time to show some love.

4. Help someone in need. Have your children set up a lemonade stand or plan some other fundraiser with the proceeds going to a needy person/family in your community. We had a real life example a few years back when a local boy was hospitalized with a rare disease requiring a long stay in the hospital and many costly plastic surgeries. The children in three local families put on a small carnival at the same time as a fishing derby for kids in the area. Over $300.00 was raised and it was all given to the boy's family. The children putting on the carnival gained skills in planning, promoting and executing a worthwhile event.

5. Have your children go through their toys and give those they no longer need or want to a charitable organization or church bazaar.

6. If your children are involved in after-school sports, where emotions often run high, insist on good sportsmanship in your child. Be courageous enough to call on others, even the coach, to do the same. On the other hand, in these same after-school sports, if you have coaches who are giving of their time and talent to young people, make sure your children and you show respect to them, especially if he team is not doing well.

7. Pick a family in need at a holiday like Thanksgiving, and provide them with a great dinner. The community college where my son teaches has a Thanksgiving outreach program aimed at impoverished families. Entire meals, with all the trimmings, are prepared at the college and delivered by faculty members. My son and his children have delivered these holiday meals to two families or more families since the girls were old enough to walk and talk. What a great lesson in sharing and compassion.

8. If your city is planning something oriented to children, like a park or playground, consider taking your child to a council meeting to give input or writing a letter to give ideas for the planned project.

9. Since the world is shrinking and we are becoming interdependent, gaining understanding of and respect for other cultures is a key to harmony. One old tried but true method is finding a pen pal. With the internet making communication easy and instant, monitoring the correspondence with a student in another country can teach a lot about how others live.

10. Teaching your children the importance of honesty,integrity and respect for others is one of the most important pebbles for the pool of caring.

Really, the "golden rule" says it all. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. How can it be said better, and wouldn't the world be a better place if we followed that one rule? It covers compassion, civility, the people in the community, and our country's and world's citizens. Start casting your pebbles today to make a difference.


BOOK NOOK

Teachers and homeschooling parents can learn more about teaching civics and citizenship by checking out these sites:

1. http://www.icivics.org/

2. http://ideas.time.com/2011/12/06/can-we-teach-kids-to-be-good-citizens/

3. http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip27.html

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