HAPPINESS IS . . . HELPING OTHERS!

"Happiness comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth... Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it." By John Templeton

When I was in my early twenties, and going through a time of great angst, someone asked me what would make me happy. I rattled off my wish list of material possessions, believing that therein lay the road to bliss. Later, having attained some of those things , but still not really happy, I came up with a different answer – having peace of mind.

Years of vague discontent rolled by, until one day I realized that I had not been thinking about my own feelings of happiness for quite some time, and wonder of wonders, I was at peace with myself and actually pretty happy. What was different? The answer? Having children. . . and they weren’t even ON my original wish list. I realized that they were keeping me so busy I didn’t have time to think about ME at all. In other words, thinking about their needs trumped mine. Could the answer to finding happiness really be that simple?

As I continued to evolve and mature, I came to realize that, at least for me, happiness is not a perpetual state of being. It is strongly influenced by external factors such as the people in my life, their actions, my reactions, health and well being of loved ones, job satisfaction, freedom from worry, dwelling on past mistakes and hurts, and putting things off until tomorrow. The negative fallout from all of these factors is a happiness-breaker!

With twenty-four children, their spouses, and grandchildren taking up mental space there is always “a situation” of some kind to keep one off kilter. Instead of dwelling on these situations I have decided to share my thoughts and insights in the hope that you can find some seeds of happiness you can sow in your own mental garden. Here are two lists that could prove helpful: (1) Ten doable things that might make you happy, and (2) Ten quotations from people wiser than me on the subject of happiness and fulfillment.

TEN DOABLE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:

1. Master a new task. These days there are hundreds to be mastered.

2. Find out what someone wants and give it to them (within reason)

3. Organize a junk drawer or closet.

4. Do something today that you would normally put off until tomorrow

5. Call, write or e-mail someone who might need an emotional lift, or who would be thrilled to hear from you.

6. Replace every negative thought with a positive one for 24 hours. If that’s too long, try one hour.

7. Decide to smile and say “Hello” or “Good Morning” to as many people as possible today. Make it your goal to do so every day.

8. Strike up a conversation with your supermarket or other checker and learn something about him/her.

9. Volunteer at a school, food bank, or shelter. Better yet, become a Big Brother or Big Sister.

10. Step outside, at sunrise or sunset, smell the fresh air, perhaps with a hint of wood smoke, listen to the birds, and appreciate the incredible gift that nature provides us every single day.

You don’t like these? Then make your own list of ten things that would make you or others happy. I would be willing to bet that just thinking about others for that little bit of time will take your mind off your troubles.

TEN QUOTATIONS FROM PEOPLE WISE ENOUGH TO BE QUOTED REPEATEDLY ON THE SUBJECT OF HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT.

1. “The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour." Unknown

2. “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

3. “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

4. “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

5. “Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” ~Joseph Addison

6. “If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day.” ~W. Bertram Wolfe

7. “The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.” Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

8. ‘Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.” Groucho Marx

9. "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." ~ Dale Carnegie

10. "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." ~ Leo Rosten

Anticipation is also a big part of happiness, A. A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh says it best. “Well, said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you begin to eat which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.” So, spend time thinking about things that might make you and, more importantly, others happy, anticipate the pleasure you’ll derive and get busy. Remember, “happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” (Anon)

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BOOK NOOK – TEACHER LESSON IDEA

A wonderful lesson in helping children to grow in a positive, thoughtful way is to read Happiness is a Warm Puppy by Charles Schulz. The cartoonist captures simple ideas of what causes happiness. After reading the book, have the children write and illustrate their own page of what Happiness is. . . . for a class book. Publish the results, giving each student a copy and placing the original in the class library corner.